Questions Before Marrying

• Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?
  

• Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

• Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

• Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?
  

• Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

• Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

• Will there be a television in the bedroom?

• Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

• Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

• Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

• Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

• What does my family do that annoys you?

• Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

• If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

• Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?